Thursday, October 13, 2011

Whiskey Enema

I read somewhere that you could do a beer enema and get pretty drunk. I don't like beer all that much so I don't have any around to play with. Curiosity got the better of me so I did what most people would do and Googled the term. Not a lot came back. No one is blogging about their experience pouring whiskey in their ass. I could not believe what I was seeing for Google returns. I have so far only read about the experience of 3 people and about 2 dozen others asking what it is like and if it will kill them. As I sit here I can say that, in moderation, it won't kill you outright.

What have I done???
I have, so far, diluted about 4 to 6 ounces of whiskey (it is what I had on hand) with warm water to make a 32 once mix. I don't know the first thing about enemas or having anything stuck in my ass. In fact I think I am kinda Homophobic about my ass. Was not real happy about turning 40 and the whole rectal exam thing. That being said, I had a Fleet enema pack in the closet with two 4 ounce bottles. Found a 32 ounce bottle to use as a measuring cup. Filled the Fleet bottle with whiskey and emptied it into the larger bottle. Topped off the larger bottle with warm tap water. Proceeded to fill my ass with the 32 ounce mix. Almost worked. I had the idea of finishing off the bottle and then relaxing on my right side, not sure why the right, without getting off the floor. The last of the little fleet bottle did not want to stay where it was and caused me some distress and leakage. Not much, but enough to make me head for the toilet prematurely.

Results after a Whiskey enema gone wrong.
I held it all in for about as long as it takes to fill a 4 ounce bottle 8 times. The last 4 ounces did me in. In hind sight I could have held most of it in for a little longer but this is my first time experiencing an enema so I sat there long enough to let it all out. Now I am pretty "Buzzed" and writing this blog that I thought about starting while I was doing the whole enema thing. I pretty much wore out the back space key now but this should look alright in the morning when I try and read it again.

I would not tell you that this is a bad idea. In fact I am going to do it again soon and write about that experience too so come back later and see if I am done writing the next blog. I might suggest that you NOT try an alcoholic enema after you have already been drinking. Your body can only process so much alcohol in a give time frame. When you over load the system there are safety measures, like puking your guts out, that your body uses to try and remove unwanted alcohol. You bypass all of these safety measures when you take all that alcohol at once and shove it up know. You definitely want to dilute the alcohol that you choose a lot. There are no nerve endings in your colon but it will light your ass on fire as it comes out.

Not sure what else to say. Have fun. Don't put more in your ass than you drink. Dilute it...a lot. Not sure about beer but I think it is awfully bubbly, think about it. Be safe and practice moderation (less is more here) in everything you do. I suggest you have someone there to be a safety buddy. And last but not least, Don't die, it's a waste of good alcohol.